Filmmaker Mariia Ponomarova: "Stay or go? Everyone makes different decisions during a war"

The documentary that Ukrainian Mariia Ponomarova originally envisioned was not about the Russian invasion, let alone about the difference between the women who would remain in Ukraine and women fleeing to the Netherlands. Mariia: 'Around the world, older women are overlooked by society. I missed stories about active women in Ukraine. When I saw the team Nice Ladies on Ukrainian television, I thought, these women were doing something special.'

Mariia wanted to make a documentary about these women because they did not 'sit behind the geraniums.' Mariia: 'That is a Dutch saying. It refers to elderly people who sit at their windows all day by the geraniums. The saying is about feeling overlooked or no longer participating in society. It happens to a lot of elderly people but not these women.'

But the documentary took a completely different approach. When Russia invaded Ukraine on 24 February 2022, it meant the women's team split up. Mariia: 'The documentary took a different form. From then on, we followed Sveta. She fled to the Netherlands with her family and grandchild.'

From then on, Mariia was also part of the film as she picked up Sveta's family at the Polish border and took them to the Netherlands. 'Some women on the team stayed in Kharkiv,' the director explained. 'Everyone makes different decisions in times of war. And it's normal to react in a way that seems best for you. For some, that means leaving, for others, staying.'

When Sveta managed to see almost all the team members again at the International Championship 'Cheer and Dance 2022' in Latvia, the atmosphere in the group was tense. Even though she stubbornly continued to practice the dance steps in the Netherlands, Sveta was excluded from participation because she had not trained with the group in Kharkiv. She felt left out, but also guilty

Mariia: 'She wondered if you could only be a hero if you stayed in Ukraine. And whether she could talk about the difficulties of fleeing. After the performance, emotions ran high. The women who stayed in Kharkiv did not judge her for fleeing. But they thought Sveta shouldn't complain about the conditions in the Netherlands because she was safe.'

'From then on, difficult conversations arose within the team,' Mariia said. 'I felt it was important to show these emotions. This is what a war does to a close-knit team. It's easy on both sides to judge someone else's decision.'

She said: 'It's brave to stay in Ukraine, among all the violence, but when you flee, you face a different battle. You have to survive in a whole new environment. Can only Ukrainians who stay be a hero? What exactly does a hero mean? Sveta thinks Ukrainians are heroes in all cases. I agree with that.'

Mariia came to the Netherlands 10 years ago to study at the film academy in Amsterdam. 'I didn't flee. But I do know what guilt does to you. It paralyses you. Whereas if you have fled, you must recognise you are safe. And that safety allows you to develop yourself and engage with the new society you have joined. I think that's why we should replace guilt with responsibility.'

The main difference Mariia sees between Ukraine and the Netherlands is the opportunities. Mariia: 'In the Netherlands, I see single, middle-aged women who are able to make ends meet and do things they enjoy. In Ukraine, the emphasis was, and is even more so during the war, on survival. You work, you take care of your family, shelter and food. It is not common to do anything that is not expected of you outside of that. That is why I find Nice Ladies so special. This group does something no one expects of them.'